It’s a New Year! Hallelujah! And you could probably use a closet clean out ya? But gawd… it’s so much easier to just cram-jam those doors closed and not deal with it.

Well, we are here to make your wardrobe confrontation a therapeutic event and of benefit to your friends! If you do it right, your family will be terrified and you will feel lighter materially and emotionally. Here we go…

STEP 1 (optional): Tuck that box of “card-Boudreaux” under your arm and head to your closet. Feel free to substitute for what ever drink gets you really rowdy/tipsy.

STEP 2: Get brutal! Music helps.

If it doesn’t fit PUT IT IN THE BAG
If you never wear it PUT IT IN THE BAG
If you catch glimpses of yourself in the mirror wearing it and think you look like something that’s been snaked out of the shower drain PUT IT IN THE BAG
If you’re tired of it PUT IT IN THE BAG
If you’ve been thinking about losing weight to wear it again for more than 6 months PUT IT IN THE BAG
That thing your husband said to you last week… PUT HIS FAVOURITE SWEATER IN THE BAG

Feeling good yet? F#ck Ya! Here is where we get metaphorical (not literal). Keep going:

Your kids lipping you off while you try to make them a nice snack PUT IT IN THE BAG
Tracking your purchases online PUT IT IN THE BAG
If one more person asks you if you’re vaccinated… PUT IT IN THE BAG
The 5-0-clock news PUT IT IN THE BAG
Maskne (the return of your teenaged acne but only on the bottom half of your face) PUT IT IN THE BAG
The amount of money you’ve spent on liquor in the last 22 months PUT IT IN THE BAG
Tiger King PUT IT IN THE BAG
Shoveling Snow PUT IT IN THE BAG
Being scolded at the grocery store for putting your items on the belt too soon PUT IT IN THE BAG
Zoom PUT IT IN THE BAG
The Metaverse PUT IT IN THE BAG
Your Mother-in-law judging you PUT THAT UGLY BLOUSE SHE BOUGHT FOR YOU IN THE BAG